Isn’t it Ironic?

Ya see this picture here? I’ve been told by so many people that I look so happy and content. The truth is, I don’t know what possessed me to take this picture…yes I took it myself. I was at one of my lowest points I’ve been at in a long time, and just needed a lil pick-me-up. So I put on some of my best clothes, and on the way to my psych appointment, I stopped by one of my favorite places when I was a kid, and snapped off some pics.

This one stood out among the others…there is a glimmer of my old self there somehow…someway, shining through. It’s in that cocky smirk, the slight arrogance of it. That’s “Mel”…I miss her terribly.

Don’t get me wrong, she shines through sometimes, but it’s forced most of the time.

Truth is, some days I wonder if I’ll ever remember how to be me…or if I even should.

But until I figure it all out, I’ll paste that half-smile on my face, and pray no one notices how fake it really is.

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